择偶记

ethan.wu

择偶记

Looking for a Mate

朱自清

Zhu Ziqing



自己是长子长孙，所以不到十一岁就说起媳妇来了。那时对于媳妇这件事简直茫然，不知怎么一来，就已经说上了。是曾祖母娘家人，在江苏北部一个小县份的乡下住着。家里人都在那里住过很久，大概也带着我；只是太笨了，记忆里没有留下一点影子。祖母常常躺在烟榻上讲那边的事，提着这个那个乡下人的名字。起初一切都像只在那白腾腾的烟气里。日子久了，不知不觉熟悉起来了，亲昵起来了。除了住的地方，当时觉得那叫做“花园庄”的乡下实在是最有趣的地方了。因此听说媳妇就定在那里，倒也仿佛理所当然，毫无意见。每年那边田上有人来，蓝布短打扮，衔着旱烟管，带好些大麦粉，白薯干儿之类。他们偶然也和家里人提到那位小姐，大概比我大四岁，个儿高，小脚；但是那时我热心的其实还是那些大麦粉和白薯干儿。

I am the oldest son in our family, as well as the oldest grandson. This is why, when I was not quite eleven years old, there was discussion about finding me a wife. I was unsure of what this all meant, of course, but before I knew it, a mate had been found for me. The bride was from my great grandmother’s maiden family, and she lived in a village in a small county in the northern part of Jiangsu. Our family, probably including me, had also lived there for a long time, but I am too stupid to remember a single thing about the place. My grandmother had often talked about it from her opium couch, and she would mention the name of one or another villager. At first, the things she said seemed to me to be enveloped in a haze of white mist, but as time went by, they became familiar, even intimate. I felt at that time that, apart from the place where we were then living, the most interesting place in the world must be that village, known as “The Garden Manor.” That is why, when I heard that my future wife lived there, I found that to be the way things should be, and did not have any objections.

Every year, someone would come from the village to visit. They would be dressed in short blue coats with long-stemmed pipes in their mouths, and would bring with them such things as barley flour and dried sweet potatoes. Sometimes they would also talk to us about the young girl. She was probably four years older than I, rather tall, with small feet. At that time, though, I was actually more excited about the flour and dried potatoes.

记得是十二岁上，那边捎信来，说小姐捞病死了。家里并没有人叹惜；大约他们看见她时她还小，年代一多，也就想不清是怎样一个人了。父亲其时在外省做官，母亲颇为我亲事着急，便托了常来做衣服的裁缝做媒。为的是裁缝走的人家多，而且可以看见太太小姐。主意并没有错，裁缝来说一家人家，有钱，两位小姐，一位是姨太太生的；他给说的是正太太生的大小姐。他说那边要相亲。母亲答应了，定下日子，由裁缝带我上茶馆。记得那是冬天，到日子母亲让我穿上枣红宁绸袍子，黑宁绸马褂，戴上红帽结儿的黑缎瓜皮小帽，又叮嘱自己留心些。茶馆里遇见那位相亲的先生，方面大耳，同我现在年纪差不多，布袍布马褂，像是给谁穿着孝。这个人倒是慈祥的样子，不住地打量我，也问了些念什么书一类的话。回来裁缝说人家看得很细：说我的“人中”长，不是短寿的样子，又看我走路，怕脚上有毛病。总算让人家看中了，该我们看人家了。母亲派亲信的老妈子去。老妈子的报告是，大小姐个儿比我大得多，坐下去满满一圈椅；二小姐倒苗苗条条的。母亲说胖了不能生育，像亲戚里谁谁谁；教裁缝说二小姐。那边似乎生了气，不答应，事情就摧了。

I remember that when I was twelve, they sent news from the place that the young mistress had died of consumption. Nobody at home expressed any sorrow, probably because when they had last seen her, she had still been very little, and now that many years had passed, they could not remember what she was like. My father was working as a government official in another province at the time, and my mother, anxious about my marriage, asked the tailor who often came to our home to sew to serve as matchmaker, for tailors frequented many homes and had the chance to see their womenfolk.

The idea seemed to work. The tailor came back one day and told us about the prospects of a particular family: They were wealthy, with two daughters. One had been born to the concubine, while the one with whom he was trying to match me was the older daughter born to the first wife. He said that the other side had suggested that the two families find an occasion to observe their child’s prospective mate. My mother agreed and an appointment was set for the tailor to bring me a teahouse. I remember it being winter, and on that day, my mother made me put on my date-colored robe made of Nanjing silk, a black mandarin jacket of the same material, and my black satin skullcap with the red knot. She also instructed to me conduct myself with care.

In the teahouse, we met with a man sent to observe me. He had a square face and big ears, and was almost the same age as I am now. He was wearing a cloth robe and a cloth mandarin jacket, and looked as if he were in mourning. He was rather kind, and, as he looked me over, asked me what book I was then studying and other such questions. After we got home, the tailor said that the man had examined me very closely, that he thought that the area between my nose and lips was long, and therefore that I would live to a ripe old age. He also observed the way I walked for fear there might be something wrong with my feet. In any event, now that they had observed me, it was our turn to observe her. My mother sent along her trusted old nanny, who came back with the report that the older daughter was bigger than I by a wide margin, filling up a round-backed armchair when she sat down. The second daughter, on the other hand, was rather slender. My mother said that women who were too fat could have trouble conceiving, like so-and-so among our relatives. She then suggested to the tailor that he match me up with the second daughter. The other family was apparently offended by this proposal and would not agree to it. And so the matter came to an end.

母亲在牌桌上遇见一位太太，她有个女儿，透着聪明伶俐。母亲有了心，回家说那姑娘和我同年，跳来跳去的，还是个孩子。隔了些日子，便托人探探那边口气。那边做的官似乎比父亲的更小，那时正是光复的前年，还讲究这些，所以他们乐意做这门亲。事情已到九成九，忽然出了岔子。本家叔祖母用的一个寡妇老妈子熟悉这家子的事，不知怎么教母亲打听着了。叫她来问，她的话遮遮掩掩的。到底问出来了，原来那小姑娘是抱来的，可是她一家很宠她，和亲生的一样。母亲心冷了。过了两年，听说她已生了痨病，吸上鸦片烟了。母亲说，幸亏当时没有定下来。我已懂得一些事了，也这末想着。

Somewhat later, my mother got to know a woman at the mah-jongg table. The woman had a daughter who seemed clever and alert, and my mother’s interest was aroused. When she came home, she told us that the young girl was the same age as I, and that, from the way she hopped about, it was obvious that she was still a child. Some time passed, and my mother sent someone to sound out the family. Apparently, the head of the family was also an official, but at a rank even lower than my father’s – it was the year before the restoration* and people were still concerned about such things – and that is why they were happy with the match. The whole affair had almost come to fruition when, all of a sudden, something went wrong. My mother had somehow found out that a widow employed by a grandmother in our clan knew the family very well. My mother had summoned her for information, and she was evasive in her answers. Finally, however, the truth came out. It turned out that the young girl had been adopted, though the family doted on her as if she were their own flesh and blood. My mother lost heart. Two years later, we heard that the girl had contracted tuberculosis and had become addicted to opium. My mother said thank goodness we had not gone ahead with the match! I was beginning to understand things like this, and had similar thoughts.

光复那年，父亲生伤寒病，请了许多医生看。最后请着一位武先生，那便是我后来的岳父。有一天，常去请医生的听差回来说，医生家有位小姐。父亲既然病着，母亲自然更该担心我的事。一听这话，便追问下去。听差原只顺口谈天，也说不出个所以然。母亲便在医生来时，教人问他轿夫，那位小姐是不是他家的。轿夫说是的。母亲便和父亲商量，托舅舅问医生的意思。那天我正在父亲病榻旁，听见他们的对话。舅舅问明了小姐还没有人家，便说，像X翁这样人家怎末样？医生说，很好呀。话到此为止，接着便是相亲；还是母亲那个亲信的老妈子去。这回报告不坏，说就是脚大些。事情这样定局，母亲教轿夫回去说，让小姐裹上点儿脚。妻嫁过来后，说相亲的时候早躲开了，看见的是另一个人。至于轿夫捎的信儿，却引起了一段小小风波。岳父对岳母说，早教你给她裹脚，你不信；瞧，人家怎末说来着！岳母说，偏偏不裹，看他家怎末样！可是到底采取了折衷的办法，直到妻嫁过来的时候。

In the year of the restoration, my father came down with typhoid fever. We tried many doctors and finally decided on a Mr. Wu, who was to become my future father-in-law. One day, the manservant who was often sent to call for the doctor came back to say that the doctor had a daughter at home. Since my father was lying sick, my mother naturally was all the more worried about my marriage prospects. As soon as she heard the news, she bombarded the servant with questions. Now, the servant was just making offhand remarks and of course could not give satisfactory answers to all my mother’s questions. When the doctor came the next time, my mother sent someone to ask one of his sedan carriers whether the young lady had been born to the family. The carrier said yes. My mother then brought the matter up with my father, and asked my uncle to speak to the doctor. I was sitting by my father’s sick bed that day and heard every word. After ascertaining that the young lady had not been promised to anybody in marriage, my uncle asked the doctor, “What would you think of a family such as So-and-So’s?” The doctor replied, “That would be rather nice.” The conversation ended there. What followed was for the two families to observe the two of us. Once again, my mother sent her trusted old nanny. This time the report was favorable, even though she felt that the feet of the young lady were a bit big. So it was decided. My mother conveyed through the sedan carrier the wish that the bride’s family could perhaps begin to bind her feet.

After my wife came to our house, she related that when the old nanny had come to observe her, she had already hidden away and the nanny saw another girl who was put in her place. The message delivered by the sedan carrier nonetheless gave rise to a small tempest. My father-in-law said to my mother-in-law, “I’ve always told you to have her feet bound, but you wouldn’t listen to me. See what people are saying about us now!” But my mother-in-law said, “So what? I won’t do it! We’ll see what they can do about it.” In the end, however, she compromised, and my wife’s feet were bound until she married into our house.

*That is, the restoration of rule by Han Chinese in 1911, when Manchu rule was overthrown.